Friday, November 26, 2010

Walking through Chinatown....

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."
"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How in hell does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" " right here," replies the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say,'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"

"I say Sem Ting." 

I was browsing in a souvenir...

I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights toflicker overhead. `That,` he sighed, `must be her checking out now.`

Arnold and his wife were...

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago."Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold asked."Not very likely," his wife said."It`s worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store.With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter.With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I`ll have to look for these."He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!""No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That`s terrific! Who would have thought they`d still be here after all this time."The man came back to the counter, empty-handed."They`ll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.

I was signing the receipt...

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

A teenage girl shopped ...

A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the perfume counter. She sees, ?My Sin?, ?Desire?, and ?Ecstasy?. She says to the salesperson, ?I don`t want to get emotionally involved...I just want to smell nice.?